4 degrees...

I had the joy of attending a very close friends 21st on the weekend.

As much fun as it was it certainly hardened my resolve to never move back to a country town - One person (also from the country) asked in a reminiscent tone, "Was it a shed with a sound system and a barrel fire?"
My response was "Yes" but I wasn't pining for the days gone by - I was staving of frostbite from my toes!

The party was a lot of fun, I gave a stellar speech that enticed a lot of laughter - but, by about 10pm it was 4 degrees outside!



In all honesty I don't remember the parties I attended as a horny teenager been quite so cold, but then again when I was 16 I gulped straight Vodka and drank Lemon Ruskis and UDLs because who would drink beer or wine (how far I've come!)

Because this was a pretty big event, so I decided to bring my boyfriend up with me to see where I am from and get a general idea as to why I am so crazy... It all went very well, there was a near miss where he left the room as my dad decided to walk up to me and fart... I believe he was asserting his authority as the dominant male in the household - I'd believe this whole heartedly if he didn't almost have a heart attack watching people run on television, but as it goes he is not that impressive. I guess that is why he farts.

I don't know if anyone else suffers from this, but I get depressed when I see my old techno-phobic parents with better technology than me... Technology that they generally cannot use.

This has become an epidemic.

I have nothing else to add - it's just annoying, it is wasted on them and if they spent that money getting me the giant digital TV and DVD recorder at least it would get used.

Anyway, after this weekend is over - Mum and Dad graciously let my boyfriend and I share a bed even though they are deeply religious! I am deeply in need of a larger bed - as I am dating a bed hog. And! My mother has given me an almighty shock!

Where do I start?

Well I got a call today because mum wants to learn how to delete her internet history - she is either searching for porn at work or running an illegal betting rink, I haven't decided; and she announces, "Oh! I was telling the ladies at the church sewing group about my gay son and how he sings in a choir!"
This should have been the first warning bell... But I pressed on, interested in where this was going.
"Anyway (enter generic old lady name here) told me her daughter has two gay sons! And they both sing in a choir in America, do you know them?"
I avoided the sarcastic comments that could have followed, probably because I was so unbelievably shocked! What else do these ladies talk about?

I'm terrified my next call will consist of, "Mavis has introduced your father and I to SnM, it's GREAT!"
I'm sure that call will never come! But this is the same woman who used to splash us with holy water when we misbehaved... She has come a long way.

Well I'm about to indulge in some dumplings!
It has been a good rant! :P

Almost the end of Semester

Okay - Happy days approaching, it is almost the end of Semester! And I am hugely excited to be rid of all Journalism subjects! Hopefully I don't run into anymore over the course of my degree!

But I feel like I need to have a grinds-my-gears moment!

It is a completely unrelated subject, but I'm just going to put it out there.

Why is it that almost every homo in the world - aspires to be with a straight man?
This has come from me spending way too much time with the boys in my choir - who all come out with things like.
*Please imagine effeminacy* "OMG, that guy last night was so hot - I mean, you wouldn't have known he was gay except that he was at the Peel."
*Others Agree* "Yeah straight men are so much hotter."

Okay so my issue lies with this.
A) If you are gay - and as gay acting as most of my friends are, it's a real Pot-Kettle-Black moment to be criticising men who are also effeminate.

B) What the fuck did they expect!
Okay world I'm going to be a HOMO *pause* SEXUAL - I'll apply a little makeup - Dance like all the girls in a video with 50cent - Scream like a 14 year old everytime Like a prayer comes on in a club - - - Oh... But you - I won't date you because you're too gay.



If you want to be a homo, I think it comes with a certain protocal. Maybe these men are just trying to fill the void of daddy issues by chasing men who aren't gay and won't accept them just like their dad - but I see nothing attractive in men who are interested in VAGINA!

Don't get me wrong, I draw a huge line at the superficial terradactyl homos who paint on so much makeup and rouge their cheeks to the point that they look alien! And with wrists so limp that their elbows are fused to their sides like some kid of prehistoric reptile.
They don't hold any appeal, but then again - It's more that they are as dumb as the dinasours they share such resemblance with.

A key thing you will notice with terradactyl homo's, particularly from the south side of the Yarra River in Melbourne. Is they will probably say the following:
- I die my hair blonde because blondes have more fun.
- I'm a 2IC for (Insert clothing store) or I'm a barista - yes I had to go to tafe for that.
- Also the following terms are used outside of a text medium. "LOL", "ROFL", "OMG" and "WTF"
I'm actually unsure they know the meaning of the above.

So I guess I'm a little bit elitist as a homo - But I feel I have a healthy disposition in not obsessing over straight seduction.
I feel like there should be Straight Seducers Anonymous.
"Hi My name is Barry - And I'm Straight Seductor - Last night I was on the train home and I saw a homeless man yelling at the door - he sounded so straight and all I could to stop myself from begging for sex was to bite my tongue till it bled - i'm into that too now."

Frustrated

Arghh! Well as per usual, I'm hating any Journalism subject I have to do! Just to top it off, my all important interview with a politician just isn't happening :(

So for my News and Politics class, I have to take time to contact and interview a politician on one of the big issues, of course I chose gay marriage because I am a typical homo and that's all I can really muster up the energy to look at!
I made some primo contact with a State polly and they were all excited to answer some questions... It has been a several weeks and they have not responded to my questions... They weren't hard hitting or anything! I just wanted to get one quote chuck it in and have my tutor tick me off...

Anyway! Now I'm having a panic attack, I don't really care if I fail the class except that will mean I have to do it again! Which will suck, because I have no desire to be a Journalist, I just want to write books, this is of course a core subject and MUST be completed to if I want to follow the PR vein :(





Anyway, all in all a very stressful week! I hope all calms down soon!

Very Busy!

Hey Guys!

Am so busy, Journalism subjects are not my forte! And I'm stuck writing boring-arse stories.

So as a distraction... Photos of the concert.

Rampant applause

On Saturday the 17th of April at 8pm the Melbourne Gay and Lesbian Youth Chorus performed to a sold out house at Gasworks Arts Park! It was pretty amazing! And I left the whole experience... FUCKING EXHAUSTED!

Seriously I deserve a medal, not only for the craploads of work the committee and I put in to getting the concert going, but also for dealing with a select few naggers who just wouldn't leave me alone, (this includes the member of the chorus who knows nothing about sound tech and wanted to sit the Technician down and discuss how he was going to be setting us up on the night! Not kidding!)



I did have one break-down on the day, more in anger than stress. But after our insisting pleas to the main MGLC to buy their tickets ASAP as we were almost sold out, I was presented with the dilemma that most of the main chorus had not purchased their tickets!

It's great to know we have sold out a show sans a good chunk of people we were relying on to fill the audience but I think my outburst of, "What do you mean you all haven't got fucking tickets? Do you think the emails saying there are ten tickets left had fine print saying - don't worry though, I'll get you in on the day *wink*."

Needless to say, I may have insulted a few people...

So with my amazing charm and a little guile, I was able to procure another 20 seats (despite OH&S concerns).
I say guile, because I set up the extra seats and then showed the operation manager they were far enough from the stage, and I think she conceded to avoid the Wrath-of-a-Raging-Queen...

So my day started at 9am, and I worked (and sang) right through until 11pm... I didn't feel like going to the after-party and to my absolute joy was able to have one drink and then blame my boy saying he was too tired (he took one for team Damo) - GTFO of there and go to bed!

2 days to go

The Melbourne Gay and Lesbian Youth Chorus will be performing on Saturday night!

I can't believe it's so close! Of course at the rehearsal last night everyone was excited, and spluttering through the pre-concert head cold that we get the week before every concert, like clock-work... It doesn't matter because we'll still be awesome (and most of us are so used to it, we took precautions and are almost better).

There is always that new member who insists they never get sick :P

While most of us are spouting on about our water intake, and little secret remedies...

- Personally I do something really disgusting, I boil two cups of water with two whole cloves of garlic (squashed with the edge of a knife), a grated knob of ginger and the rind of a lemon and orange... I then strain that into a cup, add the juice of the fruits and a tablespoon of honey.

It clears your head! But you don't get to kiss any boys for about six months!

It kinda smells like honey chicken, and gives you a wicked craving for chinese food.

But I digress... So this one or sometimes two new member(s) spout their ever flourishing health, and we get to watch the slow descent as they deny the oncoming illness until it beats them into the ground.

This is mean I know, but we spend the whole time offering honey infused tea and echinacea supplements which are refused because they "are not sick".
So we reach one week out from the concert and they concede.

With a flurry of excuses between gulps of lemsip.
"I'm just so run down..."
*Gulp*

Of course we are prepared (because we want to sound good).

Fishermans friends? ... Those cough lozenges that burn the lining off your throat.



A handful before you walk on stage!

Beautiful clear singing voice until interval.

Another dose.

And hold yourself together in hope that the laxative-effect-warning is just for legal reasons.

A bit of shameless self promotion

My choir performs this coming Saturday at the Gasworks Arts Park in Albert Park (Melbourne)!

Tickets www.gasworks.org.au

Above is a video of the amazing Brooke singing Imagine with us backing her up!

I am the guy farthest to the left.

Nothing else to report.

Sunday Afternoon and I gotta pee

When did late nights with one drink give you a hangover?

Well to counter my sore head yesterday, I managed to head off to the movies... We saw Date Night :D Tina Fey, Steve Carrell, everyone had high hopes.
And we weren't disappointed!
Of course there was that awkward moment, after not actually going to the movies for a few months (I exclude the "Art House" cinema near my house), I forgot how insanely huge the servings were :| There were four of us so I was thinking large popcorn, right?



Well we had the joy of receiving an 8 litre bucket of popcorn :D It was fun, we didn't finish it (not even close) and were waiting for some mother in the cinema to lecture us about all the starving children in the world!

Anyway this brings me to the title of my blog.

You know that judgement call in the cinema, when all the action is happening, guns are firing, people screaming and you are about to reach the climax of the movie...


You think:
"I gotta pee..."
Shift in your seat a little
... "Well they're in a car chase it must nearly be over... I'll hold it."

After that you have convinced yourself you can make it another 10 minutes until the movie ends.

20 minutes later (Said in the style of the french narrator from Spongebob).

My legs are crossed so tightly that anything that was sticking out has regressed into my body, I should have gone when they were in the car chase... Now the film is really hitting a climax and I look like I'm really feeling the tension.



Needless to say... I made it out fine, had the most relieving Whiz I have ever had and lived to tell the story :P

But I have come to a new resolution!

Always go during the car chase...

On a similar note, Batman - The dark knight was a real mind fuck :| That film ends about 20 times, my bladder almost developed a split personality!

I added a counter... I want a Cat (or TWO)

So this is the beginning of the saddest day of my life...

I added a flag counter, I figure it will tell me if anyone ever stumbles accross my blog... So I guess you'll find me in the foetal position lamenting my efforts to get anyone to listen to me after a week of blogging. (I feel like I should cheat and get my friends to sign in, but I kinda don't want them involved).

On a lighter note! I want a kitten...

Well I say Kitten, I'd prefer a full grown Cat! Already toilet trained, not soo cute and playful that you don't notice some kind of secret sadistic nature :| And I like a Cat with a fully formed personality.

I have a friend who's cat is on anitdepressents! Her [cat's] name is Tammy, and when she was a kitten she felt neglected (according to the vet) and now has deep seeded issues relating to her kitten-hood woes. The last thing I need is a manic-depressed cat skulking around the house looking for draino to guzzle and end it all!
Then again, I always care most about the pet that is sick or dying. I had a beautiful big Tabby named Tigger, when I left home Mum and Dad kept him (along with their other Cats) and moved out to a farm, after a fight with a stray we discovered he had Cat AIDs, the other cat's were immunised and life went on as normal. But everytime I came home I'd secretly let Tig's into the main house to sleep on my bed, because of the AIDs and all and he became my favourite...

Anyway, I want to save two Cats and need to either convince my housemates or move somewhere cat friendly! Apparently I'm cruel, but they would be named 'The Hitman' and 'The Chemist', as it is a long standing tradition amongst friends and family of mine to give the cat a position as a name, just for fun here's a list.

- The proffessor
- Mr Punchy
- The Rocket Man
- The Chef
- The Jackson 5
- The Samurai (He is saimese)
- And finally 'Resty Dev', Who's name was derived from the hit cult television show - 'Arrested Development.

Mum and Dad aren't so fun, we have Meg, Millie and Bella, three IDENTICAL black cats that I cannot tell apart! Mum did adopt a fox that she named Randall!

That's right folks - Randy Fox.

And he was allowed in the back room, slept on a big cat bed with the three Cat's (Tigger had passed away by this point)and was fed canned Tuna every morning.

Randy stopped showing up one day - We can only assumed he was killed, or realised he was a Fox... One of the two.

Now mum feeds about 10 possums :|




When dad dies, she will officially be the crazy cat lady from the simpsons, except with possums.

Religion... and Ginger Fever

My second post in a day, but thought I'd let it out while fresh in my mind!

Two understandably exclusive subjects... I just came across both of them today.

I'll start with the latter...
Ginger Fever - For those of you who don't know is an unprecedented attraction to red-heads... And I have for some reason found myself gazing at gingers all week. Needless to say, I was served by a dashing Rusty this morning, and find myself wondering; What it is about Gingers that I find so fascinating?

I have no answer to my query, but if anyone has ever looked into the biology of attraction, feel free to comment.

Religion... Well, I have been perusing the blog-waves trying to get involved reading up about everyone else, and really enjoying what I see. BUT... I have found it hugely dominated by people who are blogging for god.

I feel rude, it's not my place to judge people for their beliefs, just as I expect them to respect mine.
But I grew up in a strict Catholic household where I just happened to be lucky enough to have parents whose love for me outweighed their religious beliefs, many have not been so lucky.

I guess I found my exploration a little shocking to see how many people say things like:

"This blog is about my life and the gifts god has given me."
"To learn about my church you can go to..."
"My favorite book it the Bible."

Isn't it ironic that a gay man who is exposed to so much, is shocked by conservative religion...

I guess my equivalent would be "-this blog is about my life and the shit-storm of effort I put into being as good as I am at my job, study and singing."
But it sounds more humble when you thank god for your abilities and not 5 hours of rehearsal every Wednesday, the Weekends spent studying at home and the Masses of Overtime... Not to mention the extra weekend rehearsals, hours in front of a piano and all night-ers in front of a laptop trying to analyse a rediculous newspaper article.

Am I being just as elitist as my religious counterpart? Who knows...

Sorry if anyone takes offence to this, I'm just sounding my mind.

New Job?

What a morning!

I'm exhausted after a massive rehearsal with the Melbourne Gay and Lesbian Youth Chorus last night. We have a concert on April 17 and the final sprint is a stressful and terrifying time.

NB: Feel free to purchase tickets at www.gasworks.org.au the concert is called "The Sound of Youth" and at the risk of sounding cocky, we sound pretty awesome... Not for the lack of extremely hard work! I have sung myself into the ground for this, as have the other members of the chorus.


So I have been on a small team event managing this, along with my crazy job which helps manage a short courses program of an education institution in Melbourne. Today I found out that my position (I am a temp) is being advertised, and I am encouraged to apply, however my employer is unwilling to pay the severence fee to take me from my temp agency.

Needless to say the Job Search begins.

I'm wondering what I should look for... It has to be part time, so I can keep working on my degree, I want to be around writers (which I am now) and I don't want it to take over my life.


I'm thinking my ideal would be a PA for someone/something creative, I want to shy away from the excessively corporate world and more towards the lifestyle management sector. Probably not going to happen, but one can hope. Anyway this is all a task for after April 17, until then my life focus is the choir.


This is a picture of a few chorus members having a sing at a festival.

Procrastinating at work - Looking for inspiration

I'm liking this blog format, I feel I need to report my progress...

So last night I breached the beginnings of Chapter 2, not that I have concluded chapter 1 or my prelude, but feeling my inspiration feigning I decided to get my characters to where there will be some action, and hope that the blanks will fill themselves in as I progress.

A little background on my story (without giving anything away), my characters are set a few thousand years in the future, life has become somewhat medieval, although technology is still present, only it is the fosilised remains of almost working wrecks from current western culture.

Currently, I am looking at an evergreen forest, mineral rich emerald water and disused forest floors covered in bright glowing moss. (I am trying for colour themes throughout the book).

I am trying to create an image of the water, as green and luminous, yet completely translucent.

This image I believe is from Central Europe in the summer, which is funny because it was when I was in Switzerland last year that I discovered this mineral rich water existed. It is one of the most amazing things and I find it looks exotic and magical, despite the fact it is probably more reminiscent of our beginnings before the world became so polluted.

I like the idea of making this part of my imaginary world green, lush and a little bit daunting, I plan to have a lot of danger lurking behind the facade of beauty.

Well this has already been useful, I feel in case someone is out there paying attention (not likely) I have an obligation to update them on how I am going.

Day 1 - Struggles at work

After finishing an amazing long weekend over the Easter Break I came away feeling alive and happy with my life.

Over the course of the weekend, I indulged in Melbourne's comedy festival, cooked, studied and entertained a group of my friends who all couldn't or wouldn't go home for Easter.

There was an awkward moment where I ran into someone in my hallway while the lights were off and their forehead nearly broke my nose! After nursing a bloody nose and quelling the vast apologies of my attacker (by which I mean the person I'm seeing). I enjoyed the fun of cooking for friends and we broadcast our dinner on Chatroulette, which was enlightening...

Here's an idea for a drinking game, go on chatroulette and take a sip every time you see a penis, let me know how many minutes before your passed out.

Anyway, the point of my posts is after such an amazing weekend I went to work and discovered just how much I am hating my job.

This blog is going to be my sanity while I try to study (by correspondence), work (like a soldier ant) and write my first draft of my novel! This will provide me with a forum to air my ideas and hopefully let me make some progress.

Well that is my first post... I'll try to make a few every week and discuss what I'm up to...

Damo