4 degrees...

I had the joy of attending a very close friends 21st on the weekend.

As much fun as it was it certainly hardened my resolve to never move back to a country town - One person (also from the country) asked in a reminiscent tone, "Was it a shed with a sound system and a barrel fire?"
My response was "Yes" but I wasn't pining for the days gone by - I was staving of frostbite from my toes!

The party was a lot of fun, I gave a stellar speech that enticed a lot of laughter - but, by about 10pm it was 4 degrees outside!



In all honesty I don't remember the parties I attended as a horny teenager been quite so cold, but then again when I was 16 I gulped straight Vodka and drank Lemon Ruskis and UDLs because who would drink beer or wine (how far I've come!)

Because this was a pretty big event, so I decided to bring my boyfriend up with me to see where I am from and get a general idea as to why I am so crazy... It all went very well, there was a near miss where he left the room as my dad decided to walk up to me and fart... I believe he was asserting his authority as the dominant male in the household - I'd believe this whole heartedly if he didn't almost have a heart attack watching people run on television, but as it goes he is not that impressive. I guess that is why he farts.

I don't know if anyone else suffers from this, but I get depressed when I see my old techno-phobic parents with better technology than me... Technology that they generally cannot use.

This has become an epidemic.

I have nothing else to add - it's just annoying, it is wasted on them and if they spent that money getting me the giant digital TV and DVD recorder at least it would get used.

Anyway, after this weekend is over - Mum and Dad graciously let my boyfriend and I share a bed even though they are deeply religious! I am deeply in need of a larger bed - as I am dating a bed hog. And! My mother has given me an almighty shock!

Where do I start?

Well I got a call today because mum wants to learn how to delete her internet history - she is either searching for porn at work or running an illegal betting rink, I haven't decided; and she announces, "Oh! I was telling the ladies at the church sewing group about my gay son and how he sings in a choir!"
This should have been the first warning bell... But I pressed on, interested in where this was going.
"Anyway (enter generic old lady name here) told me her daughter has two gay sons! And they both sing in a choir in America, do you know them?"
I avoided the sarcastic comments that could have followed, probably because I was so unbelievably shocked! What else do these ladies talk about?

I'm terrified my next call will consist of, "Mavis has introduced your father and I to SnM, it's GREAT!"
I'm sure that call will never come! But this is the same woman who used to splash us with holy water when we misbehaved... She has come a long way.

Well I'm about to indulge in some dumplings!
It has been a good rant! :P

Almost the end of Semester

Okay - Happy days approaching, it is almost the end of Semester! And I am hugely excited to be rid of all Journalism subjects! Hopefully I don't run into anymore over the course of my degree!

But I feel like I need to have a grinds-my-gears moment!

It is a completely unrelated subject, but I'm just going to put it out there.

Why is it that almost every homo in the world - aspires to be with a straight man?
This has come from me spending way too much time with the boys in my choir - who all come out with things like.
*Please imagine effeminacy* "OMG, that guy last night was so hot - I mean, you wouldn't have known he was gay except that he was at the Peel."
*Others Agree* "Yeah straight men are so much hotter."

Okay so my issue lies with this.
A) If you are gay - and as gay acting as most of my friends are, it's a real Pot-Kettle-Black moment to be criticising men who are also effeminate.

B) What the fuck did they expect!
Okay world I'm going to be a HOMO *pause* SEXUAL - I'll apply a little makeup - Dance like all the girls in a video with 50cent - Scream like a 14 year old everytime Like a prayer comes on in a club - - - Oh... But you - I won't date you because you're too gay.



If you want to be a homo, I think it comes with a certain protocal. Maybe these men are just trying to fill the void of daddy issues by chasing men who aren't gay and won't accept them just like their dad - but I see nothing attractive in men who are interested in VAGINA!

Don't get me wrong, I draw a huge line at the superficial terradactyl homos who paint on so much makeup and rouge their cheeks to the point that they look alien! And with wrists so limp that their elbows are fused to their sides like some kid of prehistoric reptile.
They don't hold any appeal, but then again - It's more that they are as dumb as the dinasours they share such resemblance with.

A key thing you will notice with terradactyl homo's, particularly from the south side of the Yarra River in Melbourne. Is they will probably say the following:
- I die my hair blonde because blondes have more fun.
- I'm a 2IC for (Insert clothing store) or I'm a barista - yes I had to go to tafe for that.
- Also the following terms are used outside of a text medium. "LOL", "ROFL", "OMG" and "WTF"
I'm actually unsure they know the meaning of the above.

So I guess I'm a little bit elitist as a homo - But I feel I have a healthy disposition in not obsessing over straight seduction.
I feel like there should be Straight Seducers Anonymous.
"Hi My name is Barry - And I'm Straight Seductor - Last night I was on the train home and I saw a homeless man yelling at the door - he sounded so straight and all I could to stop myself from begging for sex was to bite my tongue till it bled - i'm into that too now."

Frustrated

Arghh! Well as per usual, I'm hating any Journalism subject I have to do! Just to top it off, my all important interview with a politician just isn't happening :(

So for my News and Politics class, I have to take time to contact and interview a politician on one of the big issues, of course I chose gay marriage because I am a typical homo and that's all I can really muster up the energy to look at!
I made some primo contact with a State polly and they were all excited to answer some questions... It has been a several weeks and they have not responded to my questions... They weren't hard hitting or anything! I just wanted to get one quote chuck it in and have my tutor tick me off...

Anyway! Now I'm having a panic attack, I don't really care if I fail the class except that will mean I have to do it again! Which will suck, because I have no desire to be a Journalist, I just want to write books, this is of course a core subject and MUST be completed to if I want to follow the PR vein :(





Anyway, all in all a very stressful week! I hope all calms down soon!